The Greatest Gift From God is becoming a mother. Nurturing and challenging a new soul selflessly, with unconditional love is what becomes the nature of a mother, as a baby is born so does mommy too.
Motherhood is that gift of God where you don’t only give birth to a child but channel a soul into the creation. You are at the uttermost level of your living a selfless life, perhaps giving, providing and protecting becomes your nature elevating your status in closeness to divinity and so the mother is often compared to God.
As you become a mother, the intensity of calm that touches and enroots in you is not less than a miracle. Your perspective is changed towards life, with a child you learn to appreciate the little wonders of God creation and all the beauty of heaven surrounds you, you feel bliss in every small action you adore or you do, moments become memories, you cherish blessing as never ever could be. It’s a child that fills you with physical, mental and emotional fresh insight.
You learn the most important lessons in life as you are raising a kid. Shouting, screaming, yelling, getting angry, getting impatient – all these things yield no result when you deal with your kid. You learn the great virtue of patience. You don’t scream and yell because you know that would never help. Slowly you find yourself changing for better.
But this is one aspect of a mother’s life. A post from a friend in my whatsapp, forced me to reminisce what all goes in a mind of a mother who is on seven heaves as she delivers her baby and is full of excitement and expectancy.
Do what circumstances change her personality, her mental ability? The pressure of society? the expectation of partner and family? or She herself undergoes in a tug of war between fantasy & reality searching for perfection in all obscurity?
A woman, who had a very lovely and memorable journey of pregnancy. As she goes free from the physical pain of labour, the natural or sometimes unsteady aspect of life set silent all the excitement which is also diagnosed as postpartum depression. But this is not the case always, most of the times its MATRESCENE which is not a sickness, and so there is nothing to be ashamed of. And because it’s not a sickness doctors are not much talking about it, and so it’s not a widespread subject.
However, with the rising of nuclear families, the shortening of the support system, the problem of insecure behaviour is ascending in modern-day society. Ms Alexandra Sacksat (clinical expert on matrescene) says a new mom seeks support and is mostly dependent on her husband who now has become a new father too, over dragged with responsibilities and a lot of inaccuracies.Who himself is coming up to understand and to face new responsibility and new life.
The pressure and expectation of society set an inner tug of war which most women go through and generally overcome by support from friends and family eventually. Often very few understand the major sequence of becoming a mother, as we say new birth of women.
As a mother she develops an unrecognised relationship with her body called, “matresscene”, a transition phase just as she underwent during her adolescence days, her hormones go vary, her hair and skin changes too, where she likes to control her body, now actually her body seems to have mind of its own.
During matrescence, people expect her to be happy while every day passing her hold over her body is lessening, the way she looks and feels is now not her wish. Ms Alexandra Sacksat tells, the emotions of matresscence are more about chemical loch in your brain. Progesterone and Estrogen are evolving causing all shifts, she is losing her temper with every relation in a chain.
Her expectation, thoughts and memories all are at dramatic play. Yes, she is hypersensitive on biological bases and moody in emotional ways. Vacillation is at peak, the most concern relations where she has invested in are in an introspect. Postpartum has to be good or bad will be wrong to say, science tells its actually comprises both good and bad.
The pressure from society to see the happy side set expectations high, which changes to shame or into depression. The Shame, Guilt and the thought of “Good Enough Mother”, take over the world, the sense of competition among family and friends, even her husband, they all seek her attention whereas her time energy and resources, her choice of interest, lifestyle, her own eating, exercise, recreation, relaxation, organization work, sexuality, finances all goes compromised. She wants to navigate but when unable to her emotions rush in outrage, more hovering over her.
Kindness and Compassion for self is the rescue, rather of being ashamed to seek her personal time she must talk about this more with her friends and family. As she becomes the mother she had to learn she doesn’t have a baby to love, raise and care, perhaps now she is the mother of two, She has to love and care for the “Baby” and that new newly born “Mommy” too!
